Let’s take a post to not focus on the kids and talk about the biggest thing going on in our lives for the past year – Postpartum depression.
Early into my pregnancy with Tryg depression set in. I was in counseling during my pregnancy trying to keep it under control and I was low but stable. That low but stable feeling continued after his birth and for many months after it. When he was about 10 months old I felt myself slipping into a deeper low and I wasn’t stable. Though I was not ever a risk to myself or the kids, I was certainly not ok. So I went in, was immediately diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety and was put on medication (Lexapro). This gave me side effects that were far worse then the depression itself, so after a hard 2 1/2 months on the medication, I weaned off of it. It was wicked, truly, terribly wicked. And here we are. I’ve been off of it for almost 2 months and I’m still not right. It’s hard to wake up every day and not feel like yourself, but sadly, it’s been so long since I felt like myself that I wonder if I would even know it if I felt it again. Depression is something I have never dealt with before and I pray my hormones even out and take it away again.
But there is an upside and it’s my two yahoos. They drive me crazy more than they should right now but I so adore them. And they adore each other which helps on the crazy days. And I tell you, hearing them playing, laughing and singing together really helps. I also pray their friendship continues.