Sig’s First Day of Kindergarten!

*Drumroll please*

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The time has finally come, the moment you’ve all be waiting for, introducing Signe the Kindergartener, class of 2030!

*the crowd goes wild*

In all seriousness, today was such a huge day for the Little house it’s crazy!

Sig woke up excited and ready. We got ready, snuggled watching a show, ate breakfast and took about 100 pictures.

Favorite Color: Every Color! Or Blue. When I grow up I want to be a Target Helper.

Then we walked out the door for the bus stop. 

There was one other kid at our stop today, a 5th grader named Luke I believe  (I’ll update this if I find out I’m wrong about that). Sig was doing well, was being strong and funny and cool, but I could tell she was nervous.

The bus came and she started for it without a hug and a kiss from me. She was marching so confidently onto the bus and then turns around and has the most scared look on her face, now needing the hug and kiss. (See me tearing up in that moment) I did it like she told me she wanted and made me practice last night: hug for the count of 3, a big kiss and push it in so it doesn’t fall off and will last all day, then “I love you” and let her go. She climbed up, the bus driver had her on his clipboard to keep close track of her, then he had her turn around for a picture for mom. She sat on the sidewalk side so I could see her wave and she could see me wave back. And wave I did! I waved until I couldn’t see her waving anymore and then I cried. And cried and cried some more.

It was a long day, trying to not think about missing her or wondering how she was but then I like see her headband on the floor and I think of how cute that was on her this morning before she changed it for the 3rd time and I start to cry all over again.

Tryg was a trooper, he kept telling me fun things he and I could do so I wouldn’t miss her, like playing trucks or pizza palace. I did everything he recommended 🙂

When it was FINALLY time for her to come home, I waited outside, pretending to not hyperlisten for busses. Hers came from the wrong direction, it was coming up the hill so kids would have to cross the street to get to the sidewalk. I jogged over there, long overdue for a Sig hug and she doesn’t get off. Umm, Mr. Busdriver Man, where is my kid? The pale look on his face as the older kid from the bus stop explains she got off a stop early and he tried to stop her but… I barely kept it together verifying with the driver that it was HIS job to get MY little kindergartener home on HER FIRST DAY, right!?! Then I took off running to find her. I got to her as an older kid we vaguely know was walking her home. Sig was cool as can be, I have now had a heart attack with my longing heart and need a hug so bad I could scream! But we walked home with her friends and I finally got my hug! (The driver did go around the block to make sure I got her and was very apologetic.) 

Once inside we had to stop her from running off to play with Tryg to tell us about her day. Details were scarce but she had fun, ate breakfast there and loved recess. That’s all that matters.

So Day 1 in the books! *High five*

Now to get some sleep!

Nat

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Tomorrow and Today

Tomorrow life in the Little house changes. We’ve been preparing for this for so long, looking forward to it and dreading it simultaneously.

Tomorrow Sig starts kindergarten.

Tomorrow Tryg will have me all to himself all day long.

Tomorrow I will have just one to look after.

Tomorrow my heart will break in two, one half will leave on bus 158 at 8:35 am with my first, the other will be holding the hand of my last on the sidewalk.

But today. Man, today was amazing and wonderful and so needed, and now makes me lay in bed writing this at 10 pm crying.

Today we bought the kids new shoes because both have grown in the past week. Sig outgrew sandals we bought for my cousins wedding in Florida in March of last year. Tryg has been chugging away in his sandals all summer to fall just short now and need new ones. 

Today I listened to Sig sing and dance in the living room by herself, happy as can be. 

Today I relished in the giggles coming from under the dining room table as she and Tryg played with shoe boxes, zoo maps and Shopkins.

Today I took Sig out to buy hair accessories for tomorrow at Claires and she saw a little girl, about a year older than her, sitting waiting to pierce her ears. Sig asked what she was doing and I told her. She asked how and I explained it. Then she asked if she could do it. I said yes then started to tear up. As if knowing what tomorrow is isn’t a reality check enough, she wants to prove again she’s growing up. And you know what? She did it. She was great and brave and tough and didn’t cry until they were done and had pulled away.

I hope tomorrow I will be as great and brave and tough until her bus pulls away. Today she was my hero, tomorrow I have to be hers.

Nat


 

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Some updated pics of the kiddos

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To my 5 year old Sig

Very, very late but here’s a note to my 5 year old Sig!

Happy birthday Boots! Or should I say Happy birthday Butterfly as you now ask me to call you 🙂

You are 5. 5 years ago you made me a mama and though you’re growing faster then I want to admit, you’ll always be my original. My baby. My little girl.

I want to remember how you are now. An artist who wants to write and color on anything and everything around you (including your car door)! The world is your canvas, and you add more color to all of your surroundings everyday.

The world is also your stage. My great performer. Everywhere we go you dance and sing. It’s a fine balance between telling you to watch out for the people and things around you or to come on please and just standing and watching you in awe. Your spirit and imagination are like no other.

And your imagination is going 24/7. And I mean that, all day and night everyday. While dancing, singing and rocking the dress up clothes everywhere we go during the day, at night you love to stay up late and play with your toys, all of them together, all the time. You also frequently stay up late, lights out, singing songs to yourself and your toys. Sometimes they’re made up, sometimes they’re mash ups of different songs we know but they’re all sung with absolute heart and soul.

Your heart is so big. It’s worn on your sleeve and given so freely. I pray the world doesn’t harden that out of you. You love your brother beyond measure and are concerned how he’ll get on without you when you’re at kindergarten next fall. You love all of your cousins and your friends completely.

I love you. I love every part of you. And even though you don’t like to say it, I know you love me too.

Here’s to all the best 5 has to offer!

Love you,

Mama

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On your bad days

Later this week Pat and Keith are coming for a long weekend so we’ve been busily preparing the guest space and rest of the downstairs for them. Part of that preparation is putting up a curtain on one end of the room over the office area to make it feel more like a designated guest space (we hope). We made the trek to IKEA to get the wire curtain holder that was nearly perfect for the space. Then I scored an awesome deal on some white linen curtains to help keep the space light and bright, perfect except they were too long. No problem, I’ll hem them.

Ok, the curtains are 99 inches long and 76 inches is the length I need so I’ll hem them 23 inches. Great. Done.

After much finagling we were reminded that the stupid smiling IKEA man on all the instructions is their Swedish pipedream of how we look assembling their stuff. Anyway, we finally get done with the wire and I let down the curtains – tah dah! Except not tah dah at all, they’re way too short!

 

Turns out they were suppose to be 7 feet 6 inches. 7’6″ not 76. Turns out that’s 90 inches. Ugh. So now instead of being one step closer to being done we’re a step back. Bummer.

Sig witnessed this unfolding and after it was done I put her to bed. As I was tucking her in, with tears of frustration in my eyes she says, “it’s ok mama, everyone makes mistakes.” Man, straight to my heart! Then she says, “Some are small, some big, some medium but yours was really big. But it’s ok, you can fix it tomorrow.” And I’m thinking when did you get so grown up!?! As I pull her close and thank her I told her I loved her. She didn’t say anything. I told her it’s nice to say it back if you mean it. “But mama, I don’t love you on your bad days, I’ll love you tomorrow.” *jaw on floor* I asked her how she would feel if I told her I didn’t love her on her bad days? “You have to love me, you’re my mama.”

So I go call my mom to lament my mistake and the efforts she helped me put in and I tell her about Sig and her comments. She laughed and told me “Well, I love you!” to which I replied “You have to, you’re MY mama!”

Love you Mama and Sig, even on your bad days!

Nat

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Hacked By Not Matter who am i ~ i am white Hat Hacker please update your wordpress

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How long have you loved me?

Every night when I tuck Sig into bed we tell each other how much we love each other. It’s normally like “I love you more than a monkey loves bananas” or “I love you more than Rainbow Dash loves kicking clouds” from me and something like “I love you more than the moon likes hot dogs” or “I love you more than Pinkie Pie likes mud” from her. Then we giggle, kiss goodnight and away we go. Tonight though was different. Tonight she brought me to tears with one simple question, “How long have you loved me?”

Wow, what a powerful question! Forever. Since I dreamed about having you when I was little and just wanted to be a mom. Since your dad and I met and talked about having a little girl named Signe. Since I prayed every month for a positive test while we were trying for you. Since that test came back positive. Since I first saw you on the ultrasound when you were the size of the sticker on your nightstand. Since I saw you again and you were the size of a banana. Since I felt you kick the can of cherry coke I rested on my stomach because you were so high I had a perfect ledge. Since I prayed for you to come out already. Since I held you in my arms the first time and got to kiss you the first time. Forever, Sig. I have literally loved you forever.

Then she asked me what it was like to have her live in my belly. I told her stories about when I was pregnant. Things I haven’t thought of in years, like the cherry coke kicking. In fact, she used to kick it off completely. How she would play games with me and how she hated the arm rests on my desk chair at Nonin.

Then she told me she loved me more than cows love ants. And that was that. For her. But here I am, almost an hour later, tears streaming down my face as I type this because it’s so all so real. A completely, all consuming love that you never knew was possible to have so deeply. Then to have it twice!?! What a blessing.

You see Tryg, I have loved you forever too. Since I was a little girl and dreamed of having a boy and a girl. Since we decided it was time to try for another baby. Since I once again prayed every month for a positive, and especially when it came back positive. I was scared to love you, I wanted you so badly. I’ve loved you since I first saw you when you were teeny tiny, and again when we learned you were without a doubt a boy. Since we had complications and so many tests had to be run to make sure you and I were ok. Since you failed movement test after movement test and we got the excuse to see you again to be sure you were fine. Since I had 3 solid nights of labor from sun down to sun up only to have contractions stop when I saw the sun. Since the doctor said after all of that I could have you that afternoon with a little induction help (yes please!). Since I held you in my arms the first time and kissed your perfect 10 apgar self. I’ve loved you forever Tryg.

And while I’m reminiscing, you were completely the opposite of your sister for pregnancy. You sat so low I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to sit any longer. You didn’t kick me nearly as much as your sister did, but when you did, you sure got my attention. The only time you would reliably kick was if your dad or Sig was talking to you. Not for me or anyone I was trying to let feel you, not for the doctors during ultrasounds and tests, no one else. You have ALWAYS been living life on your schedule and that hasn’t changed.

How long have you loved me? I can only imagine the memories and feelings that question brings up for anyone else.

Nat

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Happy 2nd Birthday Tryg!

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A Little Update

As the days fly by, I think of our little blog so often when I’m in the middle of doing dishes, working or snuggling a sick kid for the 10th time since we woke up 3 hours ago. I feel sad for missing out on capturing the memories of the day and I find a quote from a book I’m reading right now (called “Out of Sorts”) so incredibly right for this time of my life: It’s the kind of moment you want to put a bookmark on in your life so you can remember everything about it. That’s my everyday.

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I want to remember the complete happiness Sig had when we said yes, she can go out and play in the snow while Patrick cleared the driveway, which by the way didn’t last long. After 2 passes with the snowblower he stopped to play and is still, as I type this. In this moment nothing else matters.

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I want to remember the relief I felt for many reason when the ENT told us last week he would do tubes surgery on Tryg who has had 6 ear infections in the last 9 months and ruptured his right ear drum earlier this month. I’m also scared beyond measure but I’m more relieved there is a resolution in sight for the poor guy.

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I want to remember the happiness Patrick and I get when we unpack one more box. And the defeat when you can’t even tell you took one away. Someday we will be able to though.

I want to remember the strange feeling of spinning our dining room table so it has the head by the stairway wall instead of the kitchen wall (I really wish we could have seen our house staged before we bought it!)

I want to remember Tryg and his constant chatter with only a few understandable words. And his repeating today at our playdate with my cousin Jessie and her boys yelling at Sig, Dom and Isaac to stop screaming as they ran through the playplace. “Ninnie dop dat!”

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I want to remember Sig yelling “hot dog!” when you want to take her picture because they said that when they took her preschool class picture and it was surely THE FUNNIEST thing she’s ever heard.

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Basically I want to remember everything. Not possible I know but I sure want to try.

Nat

 

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Sounds that make my heart happy

Tonight as I’m bustling about cleaning the house so Monday doesn’t quite feel so overwhelming I had to stop because I heard something. I heard a sound that makes my heart happy.

At this moment it’s listening to Patrick and Sig having one of their nightly parties. She asks him, “what did you make me for breakfast?” and he replies, “what do you want me to have made?” “Pop tarts and froooooot looooooops” she says. He deadpans “well you’re in luck, I made you pop tarts and fruit loops.” She was so excited I could hear her bouncing up and down saying “I’m the luckiest girl ever!” And in this moment I am happy (to quote Incubus).

Earlier tonight there was another one of these moments. As we pull into the garage after grocery shopping as a family Sig told me she wanted me to start dinner and “me, Daddy and Tryg are going to play knock over for just 5 minutes if you could handle that” Well I handled it very well, how could I not? I was prepping stuff for dinner with no kids under foot, no tv’s or pads going and listening to them having a giggle fest playing in the living room. Once again, hearing sounds that make my heart happy.

A few days ago it was listening to the kids preform a song together on their stage (our old dining room table top that was waiting to be donated).

We have many others, sometimes it’s with me, sometimes other family members, sometimes it’s just the kids but when life gets so loud and I start losing focus of what is truly important, I need to listen for these sounds. It puts life back into perspective.

Nat

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